Setting Up The Stones
by DeathUser
Summary: I thought OC's restrictedly for action filled anime, not high school drama to a yuri genre. Or reincarnation. Or seeing the future. Or jumping down a dang plot. But I'm here, Yuzu's twin; and now, I will kick the reason the 'chapter' exist before it hurts my baby sister. I hate changes, but this? I will change it for the better.
1. Chapter 1

This is a story of a person, born at the expense of one's life. I am the light that vanishes, and appears within the confines of the limelight.

I am born differently. I think anonymously.

But I could not replace my newly given reality, and this story… is all about me.

My name is Yozorako and I am not supposed to exist.

You see, there's a line between insanity and what we can call sane- and for _two_ _years-_ I thought I stepped that line many times and let myself adrift.

Supposedly, my mind has been conjuring thoughts of old- _older_ than the body I have right now, and most appropriately, that I knew it is imaginary, borderline bizarre to see the future as far as I'm aware.

I had believed I was Yozora Verona all this time. My mother can attest to that. My sister will agree to it. My father will not undeniably think differently even if life takes him away.

But, as far as my mind concerns; _I am more than that._

For a child, I am more adaptable and developed compare to my little sister; minutes older to cease inferiority, of course.

I was born at midnight of August 7th, 11: 52 before my sister was born at the first hour of August 8th, 12: 05.

We grew together, but we vary from our looks and to where our growth overlap and surpass.

I think, it was meant to be. My outlandish propensity to distinguish things I don't even remember seeing in the first place, or the way I am much _much_ more attentive to the things around me even if I am just a month old baby.

I remembered the tang of milk from my mother's breast, the way Yuzu and I would lock up together when no one's around or my father's unquestionably handsome face and mysterious tendency to pry us up so he can be excused on not doing household choirs and angering Mama in the process.

I remembered it, how I grew interested in a beeping calculator and hearing father whisper words and write formula in his paper while I sat on his lap.

In fact, I thought it was all normal, how I am conscious from the very day someone slapped my buttocks and turn me upside down so I could cry in the chilling air.

The confusing itches in my body to move never have been so irritating. So the best course of action is to cry. All the time.

Somehow, I am perfectly acceptable to be horrendously intelligent in my age. Too fast to walk, too smart to talk. It is normal for father, but my sister do not have my traits.

She's still having the 'r's and 'l's converted to 'w's, and her motor skills par with that of an ostrich. She would still slip and sit abruptly on her bum. Or that canine tooth missing its luxurious bite.

She's the day of my night. She's the light to my shadow. We are nothing alike.

And with that difference, did I fell in love.

While I am capable of doing any average babe cannot do, my little sister is all I am meant to save and love without complain. She is my life and sun. I felt happier with her, just to see her close and to cuddle with her in our crib.

But it is not the motive why I am groom to be diverse.

You see, I'm subconsciously aware to the world around me, like it was familiar enough that I could see hundreds of likelihoods hanging in the air.

So it is not surprising when an accident had put me in the 'consciously' active state and elicits lacerating experience that leads me discovering the why's of life.

To clarify the misconception, I was seemingly _Roxanne Adele_ , seventeen years of age. I had family in the Philippines, but I lived in New York, most notably studying in business school to further my corporate profession. I journeyed to Boston. I escaped the clutch of Saudi. I sailed into China. Life is all but challenges, and it is an invigorating experience as woman facing the world with companions at hand.

I was not smart; merely motivated. Cunning but ordinary, I was good at escaping sticky situations. I had acquaintances, had future partners to share fortune and a group of focused minded individuals that will someday change the world and ride the money on their hands.

I was one of them, and fortunately, I share the blame for being selfish to attain goals.

I was a businesswoman at heart, entrepreneur in mind, and a delusional girl in the closet hiding a stash of yuri genre manga I had been hiding to my roommate for so many times.

Yes. You heard it right. Manga. An entertainment for someone with free time in her hands.

How ironical, to see someone practically living in the real world to obscure elated childhood of seeing romance bloom into something more. Reality and Imagination; _seems good enough_ , but it was hideously dangerous, for someone liked me.

Love makes the realm colorful. Money moves the world.

I was scorned by my immaturity, yet Roxanne Adele does not care in the short term vendetta.

It all came to halt when a seemingly innocent publisher unleashed a painful chapter that figuratively gored my heart.

I was good at keeping secrets, and hid the fact that I have a severe heart disease that can turn a moronic dead brain carcass to be left alone.

And it seemed, that I forgotten it too. I read the chapter on my laptop with a panging heart, burning and throbbing while the air in my lungs convulsed.

I recalled not seeing the end of that chapter, as I gasped for air and whine my suffocating chest. I landed quite hard on my back, reaching for the phone to dial my roommate just across the closed door playing her favorite Candy Crush app. I reached weakly, trying to find a good rhythm to tame my tightening heart…. But it's all for naught.

"Roxy? You alright?" I recalled it, how my roommate knocked at my locked door.

I opened my mouth but a strangulated grunt is what it all produced. I heaved and trembled in my stagnant form, fearing for my life and shedding tears to what awaits me if I pulled it off.

Yet, a different part of me rebelled in the current objected fear of death. I cried not for my case, but of the fictional character I admired and saw crumbled in everyone's gaze.

I cried for her. My heart can attest to how much I cared.

I had expected Yuzu Aihara to have a happy ending, to embrace that black haired lover of hers and give a middle finger to the world around them.

But it does not end that way, and I am _so disappointed_ which cause me to be this way.

I had felt my tears fell for the last time, as something just snapped within, forgetting that my friend is yelling in panic at the other side, forgetting that I should breathe.

I do not close my eyes, but the darkness seeps in dauntingly. My life had faded away.

But there's no heaven or hell that awaits me.

There's no abyss that can make time eternity.

I remembered dying in pain….. and waking up choking in a metallic tang while a painful shock coursed through my body.

I _'opened'_ my eyes and see a blinding light, and a blur of silhouette's murmuring gibberish nonsense I do not comprehend. There's a cry of something, and the freezing air being covered touching my front.

There's agony. Unquestionably pain _everywhere._ I wanted to wail my gratitude, but a hose is stuck in my throat, extremely penetrating my privacy to chat.

I want to smile and thought I was spared the death of heart attack, but what came…. Truly surprised me.

A girl rushed up in my peripheral vision; a brown haired girl with wide green eyes full of unshed tears. The voices lulled, as I graze the face of the girl tiredly.

She's sobbing, and a rain of tears flows down in her eyes and dropped on my cheeks. I frowned in confusion.

My childish mind says it's impossible to have a child this adorable with those wide eyes.

My more mature thought silently rummages my brain if ever I recall the familiar face.

I was spared the rumore and incredulity to verify the girl, before she wailed and crashed my body with a bubbly embrace.

"Yozowa! Yozowa! Yozowa~!" she cried in my ear, repeating again and again. I cringed as a full wave of groveling hiss escape my mouth, alerting how painful it is to be swept so intimately without knowing. My hand gently rose to grip her pink hoodie. The blurs, as I focused enough, was actually doctor and nurses tittering in nervousness as I hacked air.

Thankfully, a woman strode forward and pulls the child in her arms softly, before staring me with red eyes full of compassion and love.

She hugged the girl trying to reach me, and brush a hesitant hand to my head. I close my eyes in instinct, and there; I feel the love.

The confusion to my reflexive reaction was pulled at the back of my mind for I am dose by medicine. I sleep in fatigue.

The next moment I awoke, it is dimly dark and the spacious room I'm in seems empty except to the machines, a couch at the window and a lone chair in my side.

Said chair has the woman before, and the couch has a girl curled on top of it. They were both sleeping, and from what I could see, the woman's face seems to illuminate the rings in her eyes and the uncomfortable position she had.

I never thought to think if they were that help me be saved by my epiphany, because the air was sucked out into me- since there's literally no way I am dreaming.

There's no way the woman looks absolutely like the female who had cause my attack in the first place. There's no way she's who what I'm thinking she is..

In sheer panic, the machine beeped quickly corresponds to my current heart rate. My eyes survey what it can offer, madly wanting to inject some mild dose of normalcy that I knew.

The rooms too clean. Too perfect. No blemish. Too stark.

I stared at the other occupant in the room, and there, I saw the sign.

"Yozora- chan?" a lovely voice whispered, and I whipped my head in alarm. My heart beats dangerously high, and I weakly grasp it when the woman leans onto me, brushing the bangs hiding my fearful eyes.

Black hair, cut close to chin. Green eyes, narrowed naturally. Too simple, consisting of a blue sweater and a blue pants.

No.

No.

I nervously stared at my hand… and saw a small lithe limb, covered in bandage.

There, the visions pick up. Not of myself in business school. Nor in a room I was violently left to whine.

But of a child. A child name Yozorako Verona, a child baring the face of her father; blonde hair, red eyes and a penchant for business.

A child who is barely three years old; twin sister of someone I knew from before.

And somehow, somewhere; I knew that I should not exist.

Because there's no character named Yozorako Verona in the first place, much less a twin sister of the main character Yuzu Aihara of Saburo Uta's 'Citrus'.

"Yozora- chan!?" the woman- no, my mother called in alarm, touching my face as I shiver at the terrifying conclusion of who I am.

"M…. M- mama?" I stuttered, brain in shambles. I voiced out the first word I could have uttered. A word where I feel safe. My voice does not have that crescendo or the smooth lull of cheerfulness in it. No, my voice is lace with childishness; those squeaky chime, those whimpers.

I panicked in full realization. I remembered who I am. For a moment, I stopped being Yozora and initiate to take the formation of knowledge from Roxanne Adele.

I cried as I recall it; everything from the kid's body I am in, and hugged _Mommy_ as she lulls my whimpers. Because truthfully?

Reincarnation is not the best way to be the reason behind my insanity.

* * *

I _was_ Roxanne Adele. I am Yozorako Verona.

It's hard to swallow the truth were everyone would call you different things.

Some says it surprising, but exhilarating. Some even says it is a miracle of fate.

I say it's a toxic. There's a reason a person could only have one mind, body and soul. Rely a vision of another soul to an underage body would take its toll.

I have seen the signs of being 'broken'. I knew the sign of close to edge.

Imagine my surprise when I figure that out. To be swallowed up by a pathetic chapter and was attack by a malady that kills me with 'heartbreak'? Yeah, go figure how much I enjoyed blaming someone for that.

I have no reason to complain, nor I have a choice for the matter if ever I want to go back to where I came. Unexpected things are made adaptable, and I'm in for a journey for problems in order to stay alive.

However, as much as I like to grouch to the pretense of the preserve memories of Roxanne Adele in my head, I have a single question that irks me to no end. Asylum is not an option. Especially for the inmates of their own imagination.

Why's an OC doing here in Citrus?

I mean, yeah, I barely swallowed the thought I am just another character of a manga and anime I like, but seriously? What am I doing here?

I though OC's are for actions, where they could have change the plot and create happy endings to their hobo and biased world.

Citrus is none of that. It is a romance, where they would start and develop feelings where battles are not of the world war and hearts are more delicate than explosive bombs.

I cannot change a thing, because it would be horrendously freaked up.

This is a world where normal exist, where emotions are the main playing role to indicate. There's not much anime physics except for the atrocious expressions and what not. There's nothing of a defying gravity hair in the first place.

So I am at lost, since I am a complicated woman; emotions are considerably the most difficult I can tracked, where objectives is more valuable than feelings, in my biased opinion.

Why, does an OC lived in the first place?

Since I have no clear answer to my self- impose question, comes the realization of what I could dig up all along.

Or the hypothesis I would like to create on my own.

I vague remembers that Yuzu's father to be mentioned in manga or anime, much less his last name and what is his line of work.

While being here, in this world- _which I preferably became bitter-_ , some left unanswered was most likely been startling. There's so many things unsaid, and I am more interested in finding all of them than actually living a second life in a small body who still crave for confectioneries and consideration.

There's nothing much that I can dig up for myself in my subconscious state for three years I'm half- complete.

What's brow-raising though, is how I awoke in the world with the memories long buried in my mind.

I remembered; how this body was under the bed of my twin sister, hugging her close. There's a lot of screaming. There's a few gritting broken objects too, thrown from the living room downstairs as Ume and our father- Jordan yelled at someone in argument.

I'm sad and there are few angry tears in my eyes also. I'm upset for the small things that happened, and Ume is livid at something the stranger had said.

Pity, it was my birthday too; 7th of August, while I ducked there hushing Yuzu's whimpers and doing nothing to stop the ranting that resonates within our house.

Then there's a huge gunshot.

Silence reign and our heartbeats stopped.

I remembered it, how our usually kind and quiet father marched in the room, dragging me softly away from Yuzu, as we protested and tried to reached each other's hand.

Because there's a looming rift in our instinct. The emotions intertwining twins at each other's soul.

I recall mother nervously rubbing her hands at her pants.

There's a man at the floor. Bleeding. Dead.

I remembered how father consoled my mother. How he gave Yuzu and ushered them out to mother's car.

How the sweat dripped on her face as father dressed me up and slid me at his own vehicle.

How they drove away while Yuzu and I cried to take each other to return by our side.

I remembered heartache.

I remembered father's bloody clothes, smiling at me as he drove quickly.

Then there are black cars appearing from side to side.

Father is wrathful. The revolver on his hand is gallingly lurid.

The rain pours down heavily on the road.

The lightning strikes.

And the car was smashed into a tree.

Bullet holes scattered in my body.

And I was carried from a nearby hospital by some stranger, in which where I 'died'.

I look at myself and pats the bandage covering my body, as I recall the painful pull of life in me. The electric current rids the stagnant muscle pumping blood, and with it, I came back alive.

The wounds miraculously did pass any vital points or bones. It is swelling and sore, but any medication I drown should suffice to lull the ache of my meat pierce by bullets and concussion.

I can't remember how I feel back then. How the accident puts me in danger. I guess my brain deem it not necessary to incline for me to remember the painful experience I had. And in fact, I barely care to the point I never cried when I realized.

No. I was beyond mourning.

I am resigned.

There's the part where I'm lonely too. But that is not the point.

I have lived. Yozora lived to see another day. To be part of Yuzu's life. I survived the mysterious epiphany that consumes the loss of Yuzu's childhood. I have awoken.

I rather die than feel a part of mine being tear apart by Death, embracing it and will not let go until a debt is repaid. I won't imagine how it would be to lose someone close. A part of what makes a person is.

I am thinking of the universe's way of giving me another chance. To take her hand again and be by her side every step of the way.

However, that second chance is not welcome. I could barely comprehend what is right and what is real.

I am seeing her as some fictional character, while my heart says she's been with me from the very day I greet the world.

Rational thoughts vs. Irrational feelings. I feel trapped. I feel confounded. Because whatever I do, my little sister is tainted by the past as the main character of the world. I am a mere character pulled into a situation I could not have anticipated.

And it makes me numb.

Because if ever she's the focus of the universe, then what of me?

What of Yozora?

Why is she here?

What am I doing _here?_

* * *

In time like this is where I hated myself. My conceited personality had put a wall between my logical plans and what has to be done.

Emotions are not my strong suit. It is a weakness I rather buried, but with my current state feelings are the hyper instinct that initiates radar of observation and attention that intertwine parents unto their child via close relationship.

Yet it is hard to pull it off. To feel happy when I do not know the reason to.

Yuzu and Ume came not too long after I was discharged, sticking close to me while I sat on my wheelchair so they could hold a part of me I rather be comfortable giving to them.

Yuzu is smiling brightly to me, her eyes still shone innocence that reflects my own with its ingenuousness. I scantily saw my reflection at the bypassing mirrors. Half- lidded eyes deprived of life, mouth thin and back hunch. I did not smile back, but I tighten my grip on her hand, for words are not enough to describe my incapability to express myself.

I could not be happy, for I have no right to smile when my mother is hurting, still haunted by her husband's death.

I could not be angry, for I have no reason as such. To whom will I blame my horrendous curse? To whom will I attempt an effort to imply my hate?

I could not be sad, for my view to my surroundings had degraded into a fantasy worth forgetting for.

I couldn't feel, so I would be indifferent. I would play nice and polite, just so I could do it.

I'm a difficult person, and it spokes true.

Yuzu is young, too small to remember these moments of defeat. She would not remember what truly happened to the father she gradually visit. She would not recall the reason behind Ume's absence on her life. But maybe… maybe if I 'died', this embodiment.. this twin of hers would be left forgotten. That's how excruciating life can be.

However, I knew I will. And I knew it would hunt me down from the very moment I look behind.

Father's funeral is no brainer. We are illegitimate in Grandmother's eyes. We are not welcome to the said lamentation, but we are not prohibited to visit at any time. I am an exception, the grandmother says more than once, when she visited me when I am alone. I am my father's daughter, and shall I come to them, I would be welcome with open arms.

Yet, I could not respond to the idea. I will not stoop low and run while my twin and mother will suffer more in my nonexistence. If given piece, Yuzu must be part of it. We are a package of sort. No twin will leave her part to be lonely. I will not be apart with Yuzu again.

There's a nagging feeling in my chest that won't abandon her. The flick of light where we are bonded the most.

Speaking of sister, she's coherently babbling nonsense while Ume situated me at the back of her car, Yuzu hugging my side and nuzzling what I can offer, imposing as a statue before the woman who given me birth reminds;

"Yuzu- chan, don't play with Yozora- chan too much, you hear?" she started the car, and drove with a weaken beam on her face. I wonder how painful it is, to lose your husband with children still toddlers and blind.

"Un, Maman!" Yuzu, the ever beating twin of mine replied, happy…. Too joyful within my reach. I avert my eyes to the front, my muscle convulsing in a manner of trauma. Ignoring it, I meet Ume's eyes, asking, wondering- where is the destination in mind.

"…. Just a few towns away, Yozora- chan… P…. Papa says it would be a wonderful place to start." The crack in her voice, the vein on her neck; it spokes difficulty and uncertainty. She glosses the real reason. She knew I will _know._

I met her eyes again.

She smiled that god awful smile.

I avert my eyes.

I can't.

 _I can't look in that fake smile_.


	2. Heart

**Author's Note: As you all notice, I was absent for more than a year and didn't published any stories I have ever since. That's not because I got lazy, or I have the common writer's block you all be talking about.**

 **No.**

 **Some f- ing senile took my laptop, thought it funny to format it without my consent, and that fucker deleted 25 waiting to post chapters for FGO Extra, 8 long chapters for DORAC, and 5 scripts for Tossing Stones. The flow for the Grand Order Extra is dead, DORAC- unplotted, Tossing stone didn't even breathe!**

 **I am** _ **Mad.**_

 **I have not even look at my laptop ever since. I lost my urge to type it again, because those determined all night typing and making it into something decent was FUCKING deleted for FUN.**

 **GONE. WITH. THE. WIND.**

 **So you all don't mind me if I ignore you for so long, because I am still pissed off. I'm posting right now because I owe you an apology for the abrupt absence. This might take a while and I might not have the same vigor and long ass chapter like before. Because fucking shit it hurts to remember all your efforts be wasted by someone who fucking doesn't know what love for writing is.**

 **Congratulations if you ever see this asshole, this is dedicated to you. My MIDDLE finger salutes you.**

* * *

I pursed my lips, staring at the closed door, hearing those wilting sobs rocking the widow's lungs. I gripped the black devilish bunny on my hand- _Hatter,_ as Yuzu called it- and the other at the control stick of my wheelchair, holding it like a life line.

It's been quite a few days since we move into the house we are in. White and ordinary, common in guise on the western compound our father had left. It is small but comfortable, with three sets of bedrooms, one big bathroom and one connected between mine and Yuzu's room. Two storages and a terrace at the upper portion of the hallway down. It seems not much but more than enough, a little bright, like a new and fresh start to begin another chapter of life.

My birth mother loved it. Yuzu adored it. And I despise it.

Five excruciating days of tension, silence and hollow movement.

Hundred hours of pretending to ignore the elephant on the room.

Thousands of minutes trying to act the way it once was.

Hundreds and thousands of seconds burying grieves and phantom agony of hearts.

I hated it.

The pretension, the hanging bluffs of words, the fake smiles and happiness intoxicatingly intolerable.

How had it come to this? How can my _mother_ make herself wilt at my presence? How can my _sister_ genuinely smile at the day all the time? Why are they avoiding the scarcely ignorance of our _father's_ absence? How can they just… simply exist like there's no choice and matter at the outcome of his death?

But with all this madness, comes my pitiful state.

What can a small child do? A child who can't recall her accident. Who can't walk on her own. Who can't comfort others. A small kid who's just plain **burden** who can't move **!**

I gripped Hatter, busy gnawing my teeth until I can feel the tangy taste of blood on my gums, down and dripping out my chin.

My mother might denied it but my state of paralysis must have cost a fortune. A fortune she needs to pay for our expenses for years, gone like my useless limbs. I wonder why she didn't leave me then, so she won't care for this burden and enjoy life with Yuzu in this bland house.

She must've regretting it now and those fake smiles of hers has been getting more permanent as time goes by. She won't even look at me in the eye now.

And as much as I ignore it, it hurts me bad like a foundation of my being crumbling beneath the pressure I attune with my mind. My own mother, unable to face acceptance takes the blame on me.

Yuzu too, she must've felt it- the agony and rift in our family. She thought it good to pick some cash, went to the store and dye her hair blonde so we would look like our father, twins in the same pod.

Mother cried that day, not of happiness Yuzu's brain would make out, but out of despair. She saw her husband towards her hair and it brings such wound. What's more if she looks at me, a spitting image of the man she lost?

I hate it.

I hate being hopeless. I hate this body, I hate this limp legs.

Those doctors said it would be a smooth recovery. Bullshit. I can't even feel up to my waist, and would realize too late that I exert my waste and pee on my short when I smell those feces on my chair.

This feeling of uselessness. The stupid incapability to move and do something without being notice is unbearable.

It eats me. It burns me out.

I wish she let me out of her life. I wish I won't feel this attach to the bond we have. I wish she's not my mother. I wish Yuzu's twin died.

So when I feel the soft hands on my cheeks I pulled away, I trashed and thrown Hatter, screams and punched my legs like there's no tomorrow. It's suffocating, the feelings in my chest. I want to tear it out, I want to hear a lie that doesn't look like a lie. But I can't! This ability to detect through lies, this dreadful feeling inside-

"Why don't you let me die!?" I shout at the top of my lungs, inflamed throat squeezed in painful chokes, tongue bitten by sharp canines.

My mother's cry.

My sister's smile.

My doctor's words.

Fake.

 **Fake.**

 _Fake!_

"Yozowa! Yozowa! Maman! MAMAN YOZOWA'S BLEEDING! IT WONT STOP!" I heard it but I can't stop. Make it stop.

Make it stop!

MAKE IT STOP!

The pressure doubled and I snapped.

* * *

The next thing I knew it was warm. Not uncomfortable but definitely strange. I can limitedly sense a cool miasma, touch by sterile scent. With my sense of waking, I can feel a smooth and light cloth wrapped on my body, from my shoulders down passed my stomach. Then, the tender arms holding me close to warm mounds of flesh rocks me in comfort, a thudding noise reverberating from within adding to the tranquility a lullaby upon someone's lips ushered in my ears.

I opened my eyes, adjusting to the dim light above, overshadowing my mother's figure and showing out the outlines of a deep grief of bags in her eyes. When I inhale, I realized a mask holds my throat open, and a gurgling noise I made in confusion. My throat burns and my pipe constrict into the plastic deep inside me. I tried to claw it out, but my hands trapped between my mother's arms.

She looks at me calmly, and I in hers.

Her eyes looks devoid of hope, but when I stare those orbs flickered like a candle's light. Slow, wavering in the wind, but held long it burns bright and steady.

It didn't last long before that eyes moisten and tears run through her eyes down to her chin, falling on my cheeks and mixing on my tangled strands above my ear.

I let her be, as a sob racks her frame. What can I do? I'm still the useless babe. A child who burdens her so.

"My Yozora… baby Yozora…" she weeps, clinging more than ever, burying herself on my tresses. I stared, non-comprehensive, until a moot noise of multiple gasps did my focus draw to the side.

Several doctors and nurses looks at me, baffled. Some even have tears in their own eyes. They held joy and disbelief. I blink at them, realizing I'm again inside a hospital building.

A bald doctor came rushing to the other side I can't see, but I heard a click of a button, before a machine opens and I can inhale a liquid air, making it easier to breathe.

"…. Yozora?" there I heard, Yuzu's voice unlike before. It feels solemn, no optimism- just plain question. I might try to smile as it would be the first time she told my name correctly.

However, I feel no victory as she appears to the doctor's hind. She looks dead on her feet, just like mother's but she looks more gruesome- a mess of a child.

Then without warning she launched at me, surprising me as she crawled up to the bed higher than her faster than I could see before she bawled in my chest, uncovered, slick with a cool sensation.

"You died! I feel it! YOU DIED!" she cries, "I ca- can't feel you, I thought….. I- I tho- thought y- you were go- gone! I- I dunno wa'! I don't want you ta' leave! Yozora do't leave me!~!" she came a blubbering mess, telling nothing but saying something more than I can comprehend yet again.

I died. _Again._

I survived, again.

I wished it, and it was fulfilled. My mother cradle my head, and she kissed me so tenderly I produce a whimper when she pulls away. She looks at me lovingly, entranced- determined.

I feel nothing but pity to myself and mother _saw_ and she puts _a genuine smile_ for me, even with those tears she speaks with those comfort. She tell no lies.

I felt at ease. I felt the demons in my head backing away to her affections towards me.

"You had a heart attack, my love…" she slowly hushed, brushing my bangs like I was a newborn doe. "… Post traumatic emotional sensory overload. I could've been there but I-I… I mourn still. You keep it in so well. I… I didn't.. doesn't want to see it and I-….. I _lost you_ because of it _….._ " she sobs, but she's happy. Truly happy to have me. "It won't happen again, baby. Mommy's here. I won't run away again. _I'm so sorry_. We will make these work. Please just-… just hold on for me, okay?"

She begged and I am to comply.

The concerns and hate. The pressure and future ignored. In favored of these moment, wherein the truth may be painful, but the honesty I desired.

I wept and wept, sanctifying troubles, giving chances to what ifs. I still dislike my circumstances, but in these moment- Mother, Yuzu and I holding and giving out of love I treasure with my new heart. Burdens so deep I dug and throw. Future ahead in brink of changing but still in my hands to stay the same.

Mother promised that we would make it work and I believed.

I caught Yuzu's green gaze and I took her hands in mine to place on my cheeks. The same hands I pulled away and leaned with a kiss.

She gave me her megawatt smile, put an unnoticed Hatter in my lap and promised in silence.

We're okay.

I'm okay.

I am safe.

I am loved.

* * *

In my reminiscence, I drew the line between alive and living.

Year had gone by and I felt the husk of a person revive like a competent living creation emerging from the murk of indifference.

It takes weeks getting used to my body and relying to others on how to move and adapt in my weakened state.

It takes month before I can feebly walk on my own no more than a few feet away with the assistance of walls.

Half a year I used to settle in with my limitations and a year to accept I would not be a normal child from now on.

It is difficult to accept I would never have the same good health I had, always expected to be waiting inside the house, resting, watching and reading; three things I enjoyed but the most that I could do. I can't cook, do laundry, can't clean my mess, can't walk down the stairs and can't even go outside in fear of any casualties.

I was threatened like a fragile glass, always on hearing range and given anything that I asked.

However, what I wouldn't trade for the world are my mother and sister's undivided compassion to make me self-aware that they are always close at hand, not because of responsibility but because of their own will to make me happy. Grandmother, while not fond of Yuzu and mother, have supported me in my education, doting me like a princess she said I was. She would support me in my health bills also, if not for mother's refusal to the money grandmother gives for me.

Mother said grandmother is buying me so I would choose my ancestral family on my father side, and she would not let me go out of her protection much to the elder's bitter sarcasm.

It is cunning, I would follow through that if I didn't realize it from the very start. But mother have also chose pride over what's the best move for me to sustain those support. If she agreed then she wouldn't have a hard time by now. Grandmother has wealth and mother doesn't see it the way I do.

Maternal instinct at stake, almost as deadly as manly pride.

It was a trial, especially for them as mother hold true to her word. She never leave us alone, always at living room doing the paper works her occupation required her to keep contrasted to the manga series depiction of her business, always out and going, barely at home. Yet, there she was, agitated but stubborn to break her promise, until she had no choice leaving for the sake of our future. It was a hurdle, to see her conflicted with what she will do.

But it was a must; our money would not last long. My medication could be at stake and my mother knows not to cross the what- if for the third time when it comes to my body. I gave her the leeway, freeing the bird that she is and assuring her I am able to do simple things with myself.

She concedes, but not before she told Yuzu to take care of me and the new neighbor to watch for me if able. Yuzu whole- heartedly agrees, blonde locks not even making her natural color peek. She had ground herself like a dog, poetic at best, talking about make- up and boys she saw on the playground.

In those sweet moments we create the bond cut by death, letting me read for her and her to sing me lullaby at night. While she went into school and forge bonds, I am stuck at home, schooled by grandmother's chosen tutor. She would ask me for her studies and I would ask of her feet to get me in places my mother would openly forbid. One time we snuck out on Christmas, me at her back while Yuzu thread a path in the snow filled ground. There I saw another character, a pink haired girl named Matsuri, playing to herself, just like in the page of a flimsy manga. I know not what to do, yet Yuzu and Matsuri have gone along well, as if my presence have not tilt the axis of balance of the world I'm in.

However, for all this similarities I dove in contemplation when one apparent clause have pulled itself into my brain.

I remember they are inseparable, always at the house of the other and sleeping next to each other.

Months have passed and I haven't seen Matsuri at our house. Not even once she visits.

"Yuzu-nee…" I called once. My sister stopped what she is doing, pausing her favorite cartoons. "… where's Matsuri- chan?"

"Who?" and with that question I grew unsure.

"The girl at the park…. Haven't you seen her lately?"

With recognition my sister nods in vigor, but she wilts not seconds after. "Uhm, I saw her a few times when I was going home. We greet each other then she would be drag by some woman, Matsuri- chan said it was her nanny." She explained, perfect clarity compared to her passed slip of tongues.

"Don't you…. Want to play with her?" I asked carefully, crawling on the couch to her side, which she aids me with her strong arms. She nods, smiling.

"I like to play with her, but I don't have time."

"But… you have many free time?" furrowing I gave her my best confused tilt of head. Yuzu blinked at me, before she giggles kissing my cheek.

"I do not! I'm taking care of my Yozora- nee, it's not free time!"

"But… you're just watching TV? Why won't you play with Matsuri- chan outside?"

"Silly Yozora- nee, I'm here with you! I don't want to play outside when Maman's not here, you know! I'm good with you here, I don't need anyone else even if I like Matsuri- chan much you're still my number one!"

And like a bucket of water, it drenched me from head to toe. I flinched, heart thudding as I remembered what should have happened which _did not_ happen.

It's been going on for days now, but when I thought it all the more, the less I am assured of the same plot happening in the manga series. I have planned it, to stay away from the important events to the future where I would go to the State with my grandmother, to avoid changing things.

But with this outcome, I dread of what kind of Yuzu would come. I have seen it, the way she preferred to stay home than to play outside, to read academic books than to gush about magazines and boys or how she would prefer my company to her friends at school. I am quite positive those girls are her best of friends before she meet the girl who will make her heart bleed.

And Matsuri. Matsuri is an integral piece of character that sets motions of reactions in the manga. She is close to Yuzu, bordering obsessive and it scares me what would happened if she's anything but the cunning vermin she is in the chapters I read.

I inhale, leaning close to Yuzu. It still can be arrange. We still have twelve years to work before we go into a different city. I would hope there's no major plot that would change then.

"What if… what if you invite her here, Yuzu- nee?" I carefully plant the seed, my sister patiently listening. I know she would do it, there's no such thing as 'no' to Yuzu when it comes to me. "Let's play here, with Matsuri- chan. Yuzu- nee, Matsuri- chan and me."

Yuzu's brow rose, but her smile widens, pleased with my words. "Are you sure? I mean- what if you grew tired? What if you don't like the noise? I know how you hated it when I'm loud or someone comes in and-"

"We have many things and I can handle anything if you're with me," I swipe my hands to our living room, ready to be played with. "And Matsuri-chan seems quiet, like a good girl who will enjoy anything with someone she knew. Tell her to come here and play with us so she won't come with her nanny from now on." Hook.

"Are you really sure?" I nodded, smiling lightly. Line. "You're okay she'll be here more often then?"

I agreed again. "The more, the merrier." Sinker. Yuzu beams, hugging me close before darting out the balcony, yelling at the top of her lungs searching for Matsuri.

I fold to myself, smile thinning into line.


	3. Family

I was Roxanne Adele. Now Yozorako Verona. However tarnished my view was to the world, all it comes from the point of no return of existing and living in this universe. I have wondered with no satisfying result.

I have theories, from a quantum theory of parallel universe into a simple yet dreadful comatose state, brain dead and all.

Yet it is just a speculation, just a fickle thought while I move with the surrounding vicissitudes around me.

I thought I have used all my excess luck in my bidding, put a dent of the seismic waves of a tossed stoned into the lakebed of atoms and threads of Fate.

Que the humiliation.

I _overestimated-_ the Karma has reached me now. I was cornered. Humbled. Leashed.

'Never tempt fate.'

I was at ease for years. I thought I was a ripple that descends upon hell and hauled herself in the pitfall of a lava into the land of knowing.

But ripples do not come in solo. It disrupts the calm of the surface and moves the stabilized movement deep within its bed. I have woken something in there.

I have learned it in a terrifying faith of knowing the future, until that ripple of tossed stone which is I, have made a colossal chain of reaction I do not decipher.

And those ripples come in small things. Small things that I never realized that were the foundation of a forming character or a relationship built to know who we truly are. It comes like a burglar at night, or a murderer in the subway. You wouldn't know they have come near and after you….. until it was _too_ toolate.

* * *

There was no memorable occasion that happened to me for five years except, to the atrocious complex decision- making skills into an observatory perceptive, high- tailing my introverted personality in a focused intuition, feelings and judgment. In short words, an emphatic person, one thing which is similar to my past and present body have ascends to another level of sensitiveness.

I have become a comfort to others pain and a great receiver of emotions, something I am quite wary and is utterly avoiding to no avail.

I am already ten years old and I am delighted to the serenity I have before the actual storms brew into something more. I grew to appreciate new things and adapt to the canonical simplicity and outrageous moments only in anime and manga would perceive. I grew as a person, balanced in the fickle bridge between being Yozora and Roxanne and had blend the mentality for a great purpose, pushed by the pressure of my grandmother I have long realized to be fond of.

Mother, Ume, is still the supportive mother as ever. However loved her consideration is, she was as impatiently disturbed. She has seen the importance of my studies and isolation as an addiction, and she is not mainly wrong. I am strong- willed, work is my passion and it sings to me like a lyre just much as fashion is to Yuzu's.

Yes, no person would make me as confident as I am to my little sister's success. She has grown into a fine girl. Always glowing, her energy has been the unusual brightness to my dimmed world. She is my sun and I am her moon. No person would understand her deeply like I do. She was charismatic, with a sense of justice and cheer. She is bland, crass and hyperactive. I am not blind to her imperfection but I am no ignorant to say she'll be the same Yuzu in the manga either. For instance, when the world 'What is Love?' appears in a TV screen, she would gazed at the man and woman like she would look at the weather, then she will gazed at me, asking;

" _Nee- chan, what is love?"_

She did not go into charade. She didn't blurt out things about boys and their handsome chivalry or lie that she knew things.

No.

She had asked me. Many would brush it off, but I knew a root behind the plain inquiry.

She grew dependent on me. I have become a solid presence on her life, where Yuzu in manga would learn things from a simple television or books, _my_ Yuzu had a person grounding her an second opinion- shredding off the fallacies her mind construct.

That's why we are inseparable. And it thoroughly unnerved me.

We are twins, yes, but the features we have when we were young begin to disintegrate. Now, everyone can spot which is which.

I am barely out of our house, no more than an hour before I was barricaded and fetch with needs. I grew in height, taller with few inches apart. I am also paler, unlike Yuzu's slightly yellowish skin common to Japanese women, my hair golden blonde and eyes slightly sharper, light red orange with thicker eyelashes than my twin's doe eyes. I was unkempt, indecisive to my clothing and hair, while my Yuzu was a walking ' _Gyaru_ ' with a penchant to take my hoodies and pants into something euphorically classy.

I was unconcerned to my appearance but Yuzu would lend me her hand. I am content with my shelter and medication, in which my mother pays. And there I grew unhindered in my goal, eating logic and reading academic books most would throw, thanks to my Grandmother- Grizelda's devious motivation.

Grizelda was the driving force of mine to proceed and achieve the unachievable which I gladly took in competitive strife. She is ecstatic, and even I can tell my success was beyond her standards, much to the businesswoman in me take pride of. She would have a great heiress, she said, but it was half- minded, it is inevitable. I'm the blood of my father. Business is as easy as the air we breathe. But it doesn't mean I like it.

They have the tradition of giving inheritance and title, one not given to the eldest son or eldest daughter of the main family but with wits. They prefer unhanded tactics and slithering. They are dirty handed and losing a few screws and hinges in the head.

No wonder father was dead.

He grew in a family of snakes and sharks.

I am greedy of power over money just like they are but I do not like it to be given to me in a silver platter. I want to deserve it. I want to work for it and beyond. She saw to it and brought me a 'challenging' works for many 'greedy men'. Grandmother thought me as a naïve little thing. She called it home work, my sister called it demon's language and mother almost burned it.

Of course it was no demon language nor was it also from a Baranomiya Academy where my home- schooling curriculum was stationed. Mother has a right to burned it though, if her ten year old girl would receive a true work from a grizzly grandmother.

Grandmother didn't give me homework. She had given me a journal of business transactions which happens at the first day of January and ends at the last day of June of this year, courtesy of her company. Sad to say it was huge pile for my age, as is her motives would make me done her perpetual income statements and define the whereabouts of debit, credits, liquidation and merits and ledgers. It is an adult's work, a professional one at that. One wrong number and the company would fall into disorder or worst, bankruptcy.

It contains thousands of transactions, in and out cash flows and borrowed capitals. I do not hold thousands of income statements. In my hand are billions of income data, and every transaction is not limited but greater than two to three million US dollars.

She had trusted me, a ten year old girl home-schooled like it was nothing.

What a woman she is.

So here I am, nose deep in my table, my left hand writing and the other pressing the familiar and comfortable buttons of a calculator without looking at it. It's fast- paced beeps lulls me for days, no sleep and food could parse me in my doing all except two-

"Ne ne, Yonee- chan~!" a small body wraps up on my lap. It brings me back to reality, my pen stopping an inch close to my ledger. I gave a deep sigh. So much for focus.

-attention deprived girls namely my little sister and Matsuri.

By keeping the body closed longer than she intended my legs feels too warm to my liking and I quickly look at the reason of my discomfort, pushing her away to no avail.

"I'm a little busy, Matsuri- chan. Bother Yuzu-nee for a bit, okay?" I consoled, voice patchy but still tint with those childish vocal cord.

"Ehhhh… but Yonee- chan's been ignoring me for days~! And Yuzu- chan's been cooking~! She said not to bother her when she's cooking so I come to you~!"

"I don't-, ugh…." I tried to reason, grimacing as she looks at me with those traitorous dejected face. "I have a lot of important papers due a day after tomorrow. I have no time to compensate for it. I'm sorry." Even in years I am wary to stay close to this girl.

She's clingy to me than Yuzu's and I have distanced myself many times but no use. This girl is stubborn as a mule. If only Yuzu didn't tell her I'm the one who like her here, I've could have gone unseen.

"Matsuri- chan, please not now."

"Eeeeeehhhhh~!"

"Matsuri….."

I feel like I'm going to suffocate and she's being stubborn more than usual. I tried to regulate my breath, feeling the thud of twitch approaching.

Matsuri pouts her annoyance and she shushed away, slumping on the floor next to my feet, grumbling her discontentment. "Yonee- chan's have no time for me now! I hate it! I hate it!"

"Stop being stubborn, it was only for this week." I reasoned, restocking the papers immaculately.

"But you said that last week~!"

"….." I can't refute, I just scratch my nape, twirling my hair in a low ponytail.

"Mou! SEE!?"

"Matsuri," Yuzu called out, stepping out the kitchen with a tray in hand and the smell of waffles and sausage filled the house. "Don't bother Nee- chan, she love her papers more than us anyways!"

"Yuzu-nee not you too…" I groaned, rubbing my temples when Matsuri rolls all the more. I steady the tower of folders in my side, keeping it away from Matsuri's flailing limbs. My sister huffed, but she clamps Matsuri after she pushed the food in my table, on top of my incomplete ledger.

"Whatever. Eat that first, I don't want Mama saying I starved you."

"Nye nye, Yonee- chan~!"

"Yuzu nee-chan…."

"Don't Nee-chan me!"

"But I need to-"

"Don't eat that now or I'll tell Mama obaa-chan's giving you another assignment again!" She sounds mad, and I take immeasurable relief when Matsuri's voice stopped protruding my ears when she too realized how mad my twin is. I ground my teeth, before I comply and put down my pen to eat her serving. Grandmother's assignments are the only interesting thing I could fry my brain. They treat me like my age, and my maturity and intellect had passed it long ago.

If Mama would banned my stash then I would be a vegetable, I can't take that risk. Still, Mama got the balls when it comes to me and confronting grandmother. I respect that woman.

I take my first bite and turned at Yuzu to thank her for the meal but they were turned away from me.

They were distant, a few feet from me sulking. There are no cartoons today so the television is off. It is the usual time for us to play. But I am busy, I have no time for dillydallying, such as my will and the persistence of children away from me.

However good the food was I couldn't enjoy it. They were silent and it chills me to break it so. They were never been mad when I was having my moods before, always understanding when I would lock the door and never see them for unquestionable hours. But this is my doing, my rapport.

I dropped my spoon, sighing loudly and shaking my head when they jumped at my sudden break.

Fine, I was in wrong and this work shouldn't have been done for weeks but I must prove grandmother that I can. She would come for at least four times a month. I have the timetable for her schedules. I know when she'll return. I am running in circles, trying to find a good testimony. But I would lower my pride, just for this one I would concede.

"Nee-chan," I called, patting my side to invite them. She seems reluctant but I didn't say more. I look into her eyes, waiting for her patiently.

I feel my sister's warmth to my side, but unlike Matsuri it isn't constricting. She was always patient when it comes to my personal space. It suffocates me when I do not permit it. She knows I have boundaries I don't want anyone to prod.

I pull a lone beanbag to me just a little out of reach, snapping it open to retrieve two phones grandmother gifted out of necessity. That old woman. I wonder why I wanted to impress that loveless hag. I gave it to them. I have no use of it at the moment.

Yuzu's eyed hers like it would explode any moment while Matsuri grasps hers like it was the greatest treasure in the world.

"Wow, phone~! Kaa-chan and Tou- chan have it but they don't want me having it~!" the youngest of us exclaimed and tried to find the power button, much to our amusement.

I pondered for a bit, tilting my head. Matsuri had an obsession to communication devices, but I don't recall what it is. I shrug my shoulders, placing my hand on Matsuri's head.

"Are you sure obaa- chan would…" unsure, Yuzu stopped her question, fiddling with the device. I gave her my consent, bumping my head softly to hers.

"Uhn, I owned it now anyway. What I do and don't in my possession is my own business, not hers." With that she calmed down, smiling that sunny cheer of hers before she moved, sandwiching me between them.

"Now I will teach you how to use a smart device… in hope you will not be a nuisance to me for a while longer…" they gave me a full blown pout and I just laughed, flicking their heads in unison. They might not know the bigger words I uttered, they know if I was insulting them.

"Meanie Yonee- chan~!"

"Yes. Yes, I am." I huffed, content as I tap the power button and Matsuri's phone came to life. "Nee- chan, follow me, alright? Since I can't entertain you today I would teach you something you will be entertained. Have you two heard of internet and browser?... No? Then I'll explain where you can understand. So internet…"

They are quite taken for only a day and a week to see the adjustment in our playtime. It's addicting- the new technology. Shame I'm not thoroughly interested of the process of science and engineering.

As predicted, Grandmother came at the exact date I drawn. She was different, too silent- too weak looking. I have given her the complete ledger, statements, capitals and cash flows. She smiled, quite big that time.

While it was a smile of genuine happiness and pride, I couldn't get off the feeling of her shining eyes, watery and dreamy, as if looking at the distance.

She praised me, and cue how that stroke my ego. But her voice is solemn, I have never heard of that sound before.

She left that night, surprising me and mother the most. She would usually go out for an hour or so seeing me, but she have overstayed her welcome, telling me of strategies and factors I will see when I run my own company. I never stopped her since I'm content to be indulged in the ways of a professional leader. She left with one last smile and a peck on my forehead, the first affection she had towards me besides the smirk and pat she waged on me since I was young.

With those actions comes my confidence. I am happy, I have proven myself.

Nothing could go wrong, I told myself.

But I proved too much and I was given so many.

I have tempt fate. I grew arrogant.

I have heard the chime of a home service telephone when I was walking slowly to my room that week. I picked it up smiling, since that day have been a pleasant pace. I answered it and thought it was just mother, checking to see if I was okay.

My smile slowly turns into horror as the voice at the other side grew soft, as if pacifying an animal in cage.

I dropped it, heaving recklessly until Yuzu comes in my side, alarmed.

Grandmother is dead.

She had signed a Will of inheritance on her deathbed.

* * *

There were seven men in front of me and I know not of their faces hiding in their lopsided hat. They looked young, tuxed and poised. Crossed legs, they had placed their hands on their top knee, glittering with rings and calloused on their side of their palm and forefinger. They are killers, from the concentrated scent of cigar and sulfur when they shake my hand in greeting.

They sit to intimidate. To get what they want. They are an odd bunch in my home, wearing black tuxedos into my cream living room. The contrast is so amusing but I cannot even lift a single muscle in my face. Thankfully mother and Yuzu got the message to hide when they ring the bell. I wanted no part of these too, but I was named heir.

Heir to her ambitions. Heir to the underworld of the earth.

I gave their tactics no matter, just the paper in my hand signed by a dead woman. I traced the family words: Wit. Blood. Wealth. They were silent as I mulled my decision.

Three multi-national companies.

Six hospitals.

Three academies.

Seventeen five- star restaurants.

Twenty five black markets.

Two base for… certain purposes.

Fifteen mansions.

That's besides personal aircrafts services and other miscellaneous multi-million possession.

I know now what the big deals out of inheritance from Grizelda are. It is a huge gamble, a huge attainment piece together by the family of Verona going back into the early Victorian times. It takes no further mulling what happened to them- picked one by one. And unfortunately for me and my twin sister, we are the last remaining not married into different houses. Which means a debt upon our heads.

I asked them who is behind this outrageous game of inheritance. They remain silent for so long I thought they wouldn't tell me anything.

Then they whispered, all in the same answer I dread:

"Family."

Family. We were picked on by our family members like a chicken awaiting to be cooked.

I asked them who they are.

"Family." They said. I wanted to laugh at their faces, tried to jest how they can just say the word 'family' as if it's the most disgusting thing in the world. But I can't, I am not afraid.

I am restless, I am caged.

I throw the paper in the table and pressed my hands to my hair. "Why am I the sole heir of her Will?" I murmured, tracing my name into a peculiar yellow contract, as if leather that came from an era of Ladies and Lords.

"She trusted you to see the right course of action." Someone said, monotonous, almost like a jeer. I gave him my attention, trying to find his irises, wanting to find the truth.

"And if the right course is to share the wealth to the family?" I challenged. They grew silenced, tense. They subtly looked at one another, as if they couldn't understand my words.

"We cannot refute…. The heir's words are law." Is a soft reply from the farthest man. He is the most built, most aged. He lifts his head and he stared at me as I stared at his own red eyes. I saw hope in deadened eyes. The same hope I saw in my mother's when I was revived. They dance like candle lights, waving in the air. They are tired too. They want the dispute to stop as much as they want to end our family.

That's the reason why I respected Grizelda, was fond of her, even liked her for what she was. But I have never loved her, as much as her arrogance had destroyed our family.

I nodded, before I pulled a pen in my pocket, unscrewed, drawing a line in the middle of our family's wise words.

 **[ WIT. BLOOD. WEALTH.]**

And then I write anew.

 _ **FAMILY; ALONE, WE DIE. TOGETHER, WE RISE.**_

"I would like to meet all of them," I closed my pen, looking up to see bowed heads and sheen of tears down their chins. I placed my hand into the nearest man to me, and he gripped mine tightly, clammy and broken with earned freedom. "I would like to meet them all." I repeated, and they raise their heads, red eyed men smiled at me, resembling the same cheer I saw only in my sister's smile.

* * *

"No!"

"Yuzu- nee…" I drawled. A husk. Just a name.

I slowly pried her fingers off in my black sleeved polo shirt, but she resist, tugging me all the more inside our house.

"I said no!" my sister hugged me, crying in my shoulders. I gave no comfort. I place no arms on her waist.

I can't comfort her. I can't lie to her face.

"Nee-chan, it's just a city ahead! I'll be fine!" I whined, exasperated. The men behind me- Shey and Sam chuckled, and I gave them a small glare. My sister can be anticlimactic, I have an important meet and greet to attend.

"But! But you can't go outside without me! What if you have a heart attack or- or you suddenly faint and tired! No one would have given you a piggy back ride and- and!"

"Nee-chan I can walk fine on my own you know?"

"No! No, you can't go alone! I will worry! Don't go, nee- chan!" she wailed until I no longer can take her whining.

"Ma! Yuzu's acting baby again!" I yelled inside my house and mother rushed to me, giggling all the while. Mercy, what's wrong with both of my family?

"Ara~, Yuzu- chan stop making a mess on your sister's clothes will you? She'll be fine, I promise."

"But she never went outside alone that far!" Yuzu protested, but mother is skilled. She buckles my sister's kneecap and carried her like a princess in her arms.

"I'm not alone, remember?" I tried again, pointing to the two men silently enjoying this drama in front of them. "This is our cousin, Shey and Sam. They're family Yuzu-nee, don't worry."

"Family?" she sniffled, totally realizing there is someone behind me. She 'eep!' and blushed, burying herself in my mother's shoulder.

Mother smiled at me and ruffled my head. "Arara, Yozora- chan~! Take care, okay? Don't run and take breaks, okay?" I gave her thumbs up before Yuzu glance again, now looking at the two, glaring cutely at them.

"If my sister got sick I will find you two, you hear?"

The two laughed, bowing in tandem to my sister's outburst.

"Aye, milady. I will see to it she is in our upmost care." Shey promised, tipping down his hat.

I gave my sister a quick kiss on her lips before I grasp Sam's hand, slowly walking out in our doorstep.

When the sunlight grazes me I stopped, hovering my hand before my eyes, trying to look at the clear blue sky above. I inhale the autumn scent and smiled.

True, it would be the first time since we were kids that I will step far away from home. I was doubtful at first, if I can take a step further than I could. But I remember there's someone next to me, supporting me as I grew bold. I lift my shoes clad feet, taking measurable steps one at the time. My legs might be weak, my heart palpitating but I enjoyed these moments, and the freedom it brings.

"Where we'll we meet them all?" I asked softly, seating down into the backseat of the limousine.

"We picked a place safe and short distanced from your home, my lady." I snort, I hate being address that formally. Sam winks at me, knowing what I huffed about. "The Aihara Academy is one of the three academies entitled to but is fostered by our family, my lady. We are to meet them there."

My brain short circuit.

Did I just hear it right?

"Ai… hara?" I can't help but asked. "Isn't it dangerous to... you know?"

"Yes, I assure you my lady, the people that will come, is the people who wanted to keep you safe the most. Did you know, Brianna Aihara is grandmother Grizelda's youngest sister? She's the headmaster's wife. Aihara has been loyal to us for long, my lady they will not betray us. Maybe you will meet their offspring there, we'll never know."

I brought a hand on my temple, gritting my teeth in stress.

I hope it would not come to that.

* * *

 **Author's Note: As you can see, I have made a slight change of phase in these scenario. I have made Yozora looked like 'Natsukawa Haruhi' in her serious and more masculine look in a yuri manga Opapagoto, check that out if you want to know who I am talking about. Also, due to my adoration to Opapagoto, you might have found something that I blend with this Citrus. I have a reason for that and hopefully, you won't figure it out for how long it would take. There's a glaring similarities in Opapagoto and Citrus if you would take a look. Comment your guesses for that.**

 **Trigger:**

 **And don't dare say this is a Citrus fic and it should have more Yuzu and Mei scenes than the actual OC. Well, you're an idiot if you thought that. I'm done with the likes of that people. This story is based on an OC perspective and I don't want my OC became a sideline character just so she could see what we already saw in the manga or anime or narrate what the heck happened like some stupid OC. What's the meaning of writing the same thing in manga and anime in the first place? I would just waste my time when that happens. Don't be a jerk and think deeply. I didn't explicitly write long ass explanation of OC's mindset for nothing. I am building my own character so she can be as competent as Yuzu or Mei. Good luck fitting that in your brain, there's a reason in my title, summary and phase. There's always a meaning into it. Ciao.**


	4. First stone

**Warning: Slight M in a small part in there. Thoughts on Opapagoto?**

* * *

Family is a fundamental structure of building my character in both lives.

As a previous businesswoman, family to me is a constant reminder of responsibility, discipline and dreams. Even far away from my homeland, youngest of the six siblings of a broken family, I was anticipated to take the burden to my mother and give an immeasurable amount of support to help my nieces and nephews to succeed in their education. It is not obligatory, but our extended family was designed to take care of one another, to give respect and return the hardships my mother and siblings did for me.

It is the equivalent of cycle, whereas my mother had birthed me, clothed, feed, raise, carried, gifted me with love when I was a small child, does my tasked to clothed, feed, raise, carried and gifted her with love when she is but a husk of her former glory, limp as age do her justice as the older she gotten.

To me, extended family was a picture of disembodied disruption of peace. Not of negativity but with a bountiful life in a home where silence was not welcome. It is appreciated however, when children had run their mouths.

It is a fine chaos. A parade of moments.

A home inside people, something you can never replace.

I was born to believe the saying; Nothing will be left behind when it comes to family. Blood is thicker than water. Whereas black sheep happened, expect to accept their return with open arms.

I do not betray family, something I bring with me into the grave and beyond.

Family is a beacon for Yozorako, Yuzu's twin sister. It is the basic structure of trust, patience and love. Although previous life made me accustomed to chaos, my present family was nothing of sort. It is just me, Yuzu, mother and by some extension- Matsuri. We value silence, quick embrace and patience to our own bidding.

We never asked for anything. Content for what we had and was built to open secrets.

Much as I like to give them the benefit of the doubt, such fickle statement of my multiverse jump would make it believe it was true.

I have inquired it before: _Why is an OC in a drama filled yuri genre?_ , now I will ask at this very moment: _What difference does it make to have an OC in a drama filled yuri genre?_

It is unbelievable, being put into a manga series aside. The whole plot of Citrus is a bargain of normalcy, comedy and romance. Its universe is with a normal society happening in _real_ life.

Despite my barest dwindling resolve, I have contempt myself to not seek the answers into my situation as will it would do me harm done good.

So as much as I loved to 'spill the beans', society and life willed it forbidden to be rift.

I believed it was as simple it is; live, grow, graduate and chasing dreams…

… until Yozorako Verona, head of her last name meets her second life's extended family.

When I was walking at the specified location, I am expecting it crafted into a luxurious theme, with men in tux and women in their witted competitive gossips and children performing as most disciplined.

I assumed blonde and red eyes are a courtesy of a true blooded Verona and children absent to the celebrations of uniting the family. Moreover, I presume it would be laden with significance and tense atmosphere one will find in assemblies.

When I had arrived unto the door opening, I am glad to be unsurprised with my assumption half- right.

I first saw a bartender and waiters, lining up the expense of the walls and walking with tray of wine glasses in hand mingling with social humbling party. Then the sound of small laughter and low conversations passing, as if such reunion was full of wonder even if it is half- started.

I saw men and women mingling with each other, hair in a variety of raven, white silver or blonde most common in refined men. There were some unique looking colors for a strand of hair or even some surprising young children at the age of close to thirteen and above between the people conversing, posed as straight as a ruler. Most notably I comprehended is the Verona men and women can be picked by our eyes, all but reddish orange.

I would've come with Yuzu, but I couldn't afford the risk of exposing her into something that might have gone unexpectedly from the hoped we revered to have in this party. This is an adult world they are raised inside the community I am plunged in. I couldn't do that to my twin, not before I deemed it a success after this. My _relatives_ \- strange it was to called them- had the same mindset. Few it may, the children are educated, sporting cold looks and professionalism.

They truly find it foolish to be raised so enduringly, but to pass this opportunity to forge bonds and create the pride of the family is not something they wanted to be left behind.

Thankfully Aihara Academy is humungous and the union was held at their auditorium grander than a school could have admit.

When I had conclude my findings that the other versatile looking palettes are distant family, branch relatives and strangers contracted to Verona businesses, did I realized the sheer number of people who joined, united as if they were old acquaintances not covered by murders of the heirs. They are massive and even though it seems wide and with space. I shouldn't be surprise. I specifically told them I would like to meet them all, to the highest and below.

It makes me doubt my leisured steps, halting just shy of entering. Sam saw my hesitance, and came to step in front of me, shielding me from the few prying eyes. He bend a little, his eyes radiating his turmoil. I stepped back a few.

"Is something the matter, Yozora? Do you want to rest again?" he asked me, voice fatherly comforting, dropping any formality. I appreciate his apprehension, and so I sooth my concern with him. I have rest well for three times now, just walking into the hallways of the academy. Moreover, it pales in comparison to my worry.

"I didn't expect them to be so… numerous." I pursed my mouth, closing my eyes to deflect an upcoming nervousness, cracking my fingers to prevent the coldness trying to seep into my palms. I need to keep calm, it won't do good to passed out without a good reason other than fainting into an important reunion.

He chuckles, but there is an understanding to his voice. "I take it wouldn't please you to hear this is but a small portion of our family."

I cracked my eye open, pursing my lips as I gave him a hard stare. "And I am here expecting you told them _all._ "

He nodded on confirmation, nonplussed at my bland displeasure. "They are all those who have been able to come in such a short notice. We might have come up with a bigger number if this is not rushed or taken to suit your health." I almost felt an nonexistent hackles raise on me, squaring my shoulders when my lips curved down more.

"Who told you?" I whispered, almost venomously. I hate when someone out of my immediate family realized my condition, it makes me feel pitied and recklessly put in a situation as if I were so fragile. It is infuriating and disappointing for an adult in me. It is very insulting.

Yet I felt foolish. My question sounds lame and inappropriate when I verified many years ago Verona isn't a clean name.

I can feel him tense but Shey had placed a nonchalant hand on his shoulder, answering for me. "I have seen it wise to asked your mother if you have something you are uncomfortable with, Yozora- san. Add your medical files, it is safe to say we have done the right thing to keep the pressure on you into minimum. Since it would be your first time being in a public with more than ten presences, your mother advised it to limit your exposure."

"Nothing else you want to tell me?"

"…. We must be with you at all times. We hoped we cannot have some… unsavory moments with our relatives."

I hummed, not quite complacent. I put a hand on my mouth, covering it while I think. I didn't call them out on having my medical files that should have been confidential, nor the way they definitely point out there's a possible assassination that would be plan in this event. I know our family isn't quite clean and legal – _they even confirmed they were murderers before-_ but I'll be damned to say its resources doesn't have an advantage. It doesn't sit well with me, coming from a family of morals. To realized it was used to spy _me_ of all people made it more unappealing. They must've seen the signs when they interacted with me; on how I always retreat a step away at their approach, my flinching episodes when they casually touched me without permission, my itch for space and my comfort when I am the first to interact with them physically.

Moreover, mother is a Godsend. I didn't think that well when I asked for a reunion of wealthy families, the connections they had invited and the reaction of myself to their presence. For my mother to move while my back was turn was distrusting, but it was an action to keep me safe when she was not around, and that was enough for me to forgive her. I have a slight problem when it comes to my well- being, mother had stated once when I was young and since it is me who had not seen my own doomed, mother had taken it herself to protect me whenever she is able.

So I nodded at the two to show I'm not mad at their insubordination. However, a new concern has arise as my hand clenched itself repeatedly, looking at the crowd at the broad shoulders of Sam.

"I am overwhelmed right now." I informed them, trying to regulate my breathe into a normal state.

I don't know what passed between the two, but Shey had bent in knee next to his brother. They knew how important this event is, so they didn't asked if I were to refuse to be seen and postpone it for further notice. "What can we do to lessen your anxiety, Yozora- san?"

I didn't correct him about anxiety, too deep in my distress. I have become so sensitive to emotions I have shut down many times and is avoided by Matsuri and Yuzu in my more less than stellar moments. But there is one thing that always prevents it from becoming a problem longer than a day.

Mask.

False determination.

Sheer focus.

"Distract me. See it fit to used your opportunity where I'm focused enough to gather them, it would be alright then." I simply instructed, tugging at the coldness in my head to run over my pathetic heart. I grasp it, like a hand into a fire. Thinking deeper and mulling information in a situation has distracted me well, effectively cutting down my feelings to see a logical approach on circumstances.

I have put a masked of Roxanne Adele's ethical business behavior, grateful enough to hide behind it as I asked my first conclusion. Plain curiosity and hidden attempt to investigate, two factors of cold thoughts.

"The bartenders and waiters," I nod at their direction, stepping at the frame of the door. "They are bodyguards in disguised, correct?" I spy their clothes, whereas a small dent would be seen next to their waists, or the sure steps of their shoes with two inches soles. I saw a waitress brush a nonchalant hand to her ear where a black pod earring was covered or a soft move of the lips as if talking in the air. I had seen one of the passing bartender, his tray was punctured by beats, as if a camera lens in a hundreds of sparkling black.

"You are very perceptive." Sam has an appraising look on his voice. "You are a very scary child, but yes, they are."

I continued, recalling the pastels of hair and the variety we have. I saw a few features like mine, clustered in every direction, circled in different types of group. "Our relatives. I presume Verona's immediate family was not because they are part of the main, but because they have blonde hair and red orange eyes even they are in the second or third relatives. They are in for the succession of the inheritance if I were to die."

"Correct." Shey said in awe. "I couldn't believe you conclude it so fast."

I ignored him. I didn't waste time, asking for another. My eyes roam into the different hair palettes. Even if I spoke of this world as my own now, and by concluding Citrus is some part of a slice of life, I were to see a point where black hair, blonde, brunette and red hairs are a common variety for normal hair. However, Verona had set the boundaries out the box of the norm as I froze spotting a green haired girl with red eyes. I stared at her long and she grazed me with a silent tilt of wonder and smiled. I didn't return it, focusing at my inquiry. "What about secondary families? If I were to guess, it is seen in the eye color, not the hair. I have thought it barbaric, but it was in my realization that Verona favored those with human feature, especially hair and eyes that is similar to the immediate family."

"… Correct." Shey slowly told me, as if mulling his words. I gave him a single glance before returning into my apathetic state. "The hair colors, it's not common. How is that we had different ones? I assumed that we came from blonde ancestors, but it doesn't answer how a palette not supposed to be possible had emerged into our relatives hair. It could be dye, but it's unconventionally degrading for them. Why is that?"

Shey didn't reply for a short moment, until a sigh has leaved his lips. "Our _family_ , Yozora- san is not the best of those you see in movies and common folk. We are raised harshly to a world we thought the wars between blood would never end, until you happened to us and have promised us a better perspective in our life."

I figured it out in years.

"It doesn't answer my question," I reasoned, but I didn't revoke the clue into his words. ", I have an inkling of what you spoke of, but I must know accurately."

"I think it is best not to talk about our family history now, Yozora- san. You are too young." He tried to avert my curiosity with a stern voice. I almost slipped at the cliff of my fears, but I scratch into the surface, desperately holding into my indifference until I am, again, in control.

"Humor me." I challenged, folding my arms to my chest. "At the eyes of our family I am now an adult so your reason is abysmal at best."

He sounds displeased, but he agreed. "…Before we spread, Yozora- san, they were just blonde and red eyed people in our name. We were called one of the noble blood back then, wherein we are cultivated by heritage of incestuous linage of a brother and a sister for many generations. It was agreed upon at the time, to secure pure bloodline to take the wealth of our ancestors. Until the second son of our sixth ancestor and the youngest daughter were made… rats for experimentation of the vile heir."

"An heir who starts this vile distrust in us, I presume." I spoke, letting my lips into a straight line.

"Not quite. He is a catalyst. He was a genius- Hector, the first of our name on par with Galileo, so his worked was praised as he had used his siblings as guinea pigs. Incestuous tradition out of his mind. He had made potions and medications that created mutation and abnormalities in genetics. He had forcefully used into our great great grandmother Victoria and had made his younger brother raped her until she was pregnant with twins. One with blonde and red eyes, and other with blue hair and red eyes. Hector was overjoyed, so he had done it again and again until he killed his brother and Victoria died of the last childbirth. That leaves five blonde hair and red eyes and eleven children with different colors of hair and eyes."

I barely nodded, patient as he catch his breathe.

"When he died, the children were now fine men, but they have so much distrust. The doted ones, Hector called his sons were thirsty of the family wealth, the sons who he didn't give a damn was in for a share wealth for all of them, the most cordial of the sons. The lab rats were… well, had been completely left forgotten if they have not spark a revolt. They had murdered the favored sons, except those cordial. They didn't want to share, they want to take it with themselves. But the cordial sons were outrage, and had made a ruse to obtain the wealth on their own. They are to bed a woman, and whoever would have a child with blonde hair and red eyes of our ancestors, would be having the inheritance all on his own. They agreed. The experimented son, Franco has a head on his shoulders. He had blonde hair with blue eyes. He discovered a whore of his late father and had birthed a child with brown hair and red eyes. So he used her and she bears him his daughters. Twin girls with blonde hair and red eyes. He took inheritance without hearing to his brothers, living a short happy life until one cordial son appeared, bearing a son with the same palette as the twins."

"And there goes war and immediate family rising into different relatives, on the heels with the Will." It is quite morbid, but it was the history of the distrust and the past sigma; Wit. Blood. Wealth.

Quite contrary I thought, that such thing were made excusable in an era where Christianity were being spread. But then, society itself has been raised not from heroes and with a clean heart for the people, but those with wealth, wit and clever manipulation of laws.

An image of blonde hair and green eyes graze my head.

My sister.

I ground my teeth together. It is no accident I am _here_ after all.

From the generations and beyond of Verona, twins are born. The probability passing in genes are in half beyond recognition. It was not a _coincidence_ , I am simply _unfortunate_ to be gifted with their genetics. However, I still have an important question in hand.

"Tell me, is the tradition we had still acceptable?"

"Killing? I thought-"

"Incestuous relationships." I cut him off, fixing my stare into a lone man with his hands on a female's waist, identical faces on his own caressing his arm. They looked siblings by far, and another pair inside a circle with a man on a lady's protruding belly, pregnant. They too, looked identical.

"… I never thought you like your sister that way." He slowly replied, chuckling to himself.

I felt my brain halt and I blink at him in comprehension.

"I don't… I'm not interested to my sister in _any way._ " At least, that is what I believed.

Even in my life as Roxanne, certain attractions had not peaked itself as an interest or worth of a time to waste. Furthermore, I felt no obligatory thoughts for a relationship in any gender or physical attractions most teenagers had enjoyed. I was repulsed instead, disgusted even. I have thought of myself lesbian before, wherein I see women as beautiful and men categorized as; those who has a face, ugly and 'Huh. You have a face I notice, you have done well'.

And yet, I realized it was merely an appreciation of their beauty. It was a fluxed of physique. Not an attraction in a romantic sense.

So I uncategorized myself not lesbian; just loveless.

I am in a strange predicament where I will treat everyone equally, or when a possible love interest proposed my mind would always contributed to the fact that I only have a sole reason to refused them: 'I do not like commitment.'

But to be accused of having a nonexistent attraction to my sister is appalling. I loved my sibling a sister would do. And fortunately, I saw her not with me, but with a woman tied in our family- a cousin even, who will make her heart bleed.

"I'm generally speaking. Don't take things in a wrong way." I added, with a void voice out of its commission.

He looked unconvinced but he avoided it nonetheless. "It was still encouraged with cousins. The best way to avoid being killed is to ally yourself with others. Those who have incestuous relationship with their siblings have not been granted protection, but their children can be a substitute to the contract. And the others who married off into an outsider are used to spread Verona's reputation. However, they are expected to have a child marry with a relative."

Cousins. Siblings. Relative. That's his exact words. I felt my eyebrow raised a little.

I spied two women in a very close proximity with each other, whispering in others ears. I saw two men in tux at the very corner, hands intertwined.

"Gay relationships are acceptable." I breathed in realization. I felt him leave, but I was in so much awe before I was startled of the sound behind me.

A single chime of glass wine brought those attentions to me, zeroing in my baffled form. The crowd was coated in silence as they gaze at me with different reactions.

I blinked in confusion, until I turned and saw Sam with the glass and spoon, returned to the waiter. He gave me a smile while I gave him my barest of nods. I'm still accustoming into the ambiance, still not ready to part my mouth and gave speech without a hint of even a starting call. But I have my shield up, mind incorporated to be.

Now I stood there, frozen at the impromptu notice when five men and three beautiful women in black with different rings stepped forward amongst the crowd. All with reddish orange eyes. I recognized the five men who visited me but incline my head to the three women who bear an astonished impression. I spared a quick glance behind them, seeing familiar looking faces of one pink haired vixen's parents.

"Ladies and Gentlemen," Shey nodded to the crowd, his voice echoing into them, clear and appealing. "Thank you for coming, and I… apologize for the delay to these assembly and.. uh, I would like to introduce the presence of this young lady," he then puts a hand on my shoulder, cementing the surprised in their gasps and young teenager's accusatory tone shush by their parents.

I looked into his hand, then back at his face.

He might have feel my glare, as he looks down at me and point out my obvious disgust of his hand's location. He left it not moments after. "The head entitled by the jury of inheritance, passed by the late head of the family, deceased Grizelda. I present the new head, Yozorako Verona."

They have no compassion when grandmother's name was mentioned. As if mere passing wind. They must've an inkling of dislike towards the deceased woman. However, when my named was uttered, they had seemed incredulous and in for different expressions. I roamed my eyes unto them once again and caught the same girl as before. Green hair in curls, shoulder length with a fringe to hide her right eye. She looks amazed and is horrified.

… I don't know why she has that look.

I observed them until the end, and when I presumed they were to bow I told in the coldest voice of " **Don't.** " ,louder than I willed it be. They were post- motion puzzled as I tried hard not to turn red at the pain in my chest and indignity. I cannot hide my humiliation of being the center of attention, nor the uncomfortable shame it evoke in my person, but I didn't retract my words. I lived to it.

I do not want anyone bowing to me as if I'm some type of person to be respected enough to warrant such action. I have never done anything yet nor were I prove myself to them. Moreover, seeing as mostly the age group is far older than I bowing in a sort of submission do not bode well in me. Even if our history suggest I will.

So with a confidence I entirely don't have, I willed myself to the oldest uncle of mine- Frederico, pull his hand in front of me so I could bend and place the back of his hand in my temple.

It is the proclamation of respect, something entirely unique of Filipino culture, where the younglings would 'mano'- an action by placing the back of hand to the young's forehead to receive a blessing- that shows adoration and submission to their teaching.

Even if they don't know the real meaning behind my actions, it speaks greater than the words I didn't uttered. They heave gasps and widened eyes, but it didn't matter, as I look into my Uncle Frederico's eyes. His spirit shine brightly, a smile tugged on his handsome face. He gave me a nod of affirmation and I trot into Uncle Chris, Uncle Gero, Uncle Michael and Uncle Richardo doing the same form of respect, all the while being granted smiles and wonder in their eyes.

"Are you sure about this?" he asked me again, almost to the point I want to roll my eyes. But I nodded, not giving into pressure.

"I will done it again and again. This childish war is long overdue."

When I stepped into the line of women did I saw how tense they are. The first two let me with no small pause, as I kissed their hands and hold it seconds to my forehead. They look at me as if I'm from somewhere inhumane that it took me great courage to pull one hand to my face and steady it as I ask a silent confirmation of continuation.

The last woman who I hold pursed her lips, mauling it with her teeth before she broke the silence of the crowd, analyzing me, trying to see if what would benefit me. I am patient, I understand their hesitance in me submitting to them.

"We were raise to respect the head in which they deserved." She stated and I can't help but loudly scoff at it. She didn't take it well, furrowing her brows as she regards me with a hard stare. "As surprise as I am to find my mother's prized heiress is but a mere child, I expected her to teach you how to behave in front of us. A head do not bow, we do."

She did, in the last day we met. But what I heard was just an imperious person trying to mold her second being upon me. Who wanted me to rule with an iron fist, as much as she did.

"A head who does nothing to prove their worth is not a head to be respected. I deserved nothing of these treasures I have in my name, for I didn't work for it myself. Besides, a head who could not bow to inspect if her body is unharmed is with a serious problem of commanding it. Just look at what happened to grandmother's reign." I speak, for the first time that day, holding her stumped stare with mine, amplifying my voice so everyone would hear my rant.

I speak, boldly and laced with anger. Because it's one to ignore my belief that shapes my approached in life, but to be frowned upon and jab to change it for the propriety of others tradition, that, is something I could not get behind. "My crest may be Verona, but I am Yozorako. I am not my grandmother. My name is not Grizelda. I am my own person. I behave what I think what's right and I'll do what I think is fair." I soften my hold in her hands when I saw battered breathes.

"I'm still a child, yet tradition speaks I rule with might, a sole owner to the power where our family organized to build together. Something I didn't contribute. Something that was willingly given as if it was a mere toy by someone who doesn't guarantee to merit the family a reminder on where their wealth would go. Possessions formed by them, their hardships to raise our family noble, gone just to take by some head who works none but kill to get the inheritance that was supposed to be shared."

When no one intervened, it was Sam's voice that carries the crowd, kind and mature, with a glow on his voice I could not put my finger on. "That's the reason of this union isn't it? To share the wealth to our family?"

The crowd stirred when they heard 'share' and 'family' in the same word. They have zeroed on me, awaiting my next words. It makes me laughed, sadly it was not with happiness.

"You speak of family like it was a plague." I tried to joshed, but I know they would not laugh. It is a plague for them. A curse, even. "Family is supposed to be a group of people who raise their home, who had a father to guide them, a mother to nurture them and children to attain their goals. I want to define that to _our_ family, when you speak of **ours**. I want us to be in equal footing, was with support coming from each other. If it comes to it that by sharing the accumulated wealth is what makes that family come true then I will let it. But truly, though, share?" I shook my head at Frederico's pleased gaze, disgruntled. "I rather say 'return' the wealth every member of the family deserves."

The crowd vibrates with energy, as if they didn't think it factual. Some men looked at me as if I'm some puzzle, others distrustful and many disbelief. I return my eyes into the woman I'm holding, trying not to chuckle at her mystified expression. I gave her hand the overdue kiss and ready return besides Sam and Shey, who awaited me with radiant faces next to Frederico. I gulped as a tremor leaves my chest down to the other parts of my body.

Unfortunately, I need to retreat.

"You… are one weird child." The woman whispered and I spared her an answer, void of anything else.

How could I refute if it is true. I gripped my sleeve on my right hand, keeping the tremors in there.

"You placed me besides Plato and Einstein- thought weird but had contributed much. Takes one to know one, I presume." I replied, walking away to the crowd still watching me like a hawk into Frederico whom I approached.

He kneeled, to accommodate my height and let me leaned on his ear.

"Gather the fathers and discussed everything we had planned."

"There was no return in this, child." He rumbled, but I nodded nonetheless. "Aren't you going to come with me?"

I shake my head a little, my breathe now have the same shakiness in there. "I can't. They wouldn't listen to a child, let alone be ordered by one. Men are like that, but with you and the others they will. Besides, I need to get out. I have reached my limit." I told him quietly, motioning for Sam and Shey to leave the room with me. I caught the familiar red eyes of the green girl before the door close behind me and I hugged myself tightly.

I have too many excitements for a bare five minutes.

The drawbacks on having a mask of my past self has to consume into a tight turn when one hinted of my strange behavior and I would be a puddle on the street not minutes after. True, a child like me, even my spirit was not, is still honing its instinct to the world; to know of what is right for its survival and by doing that, is to act like one even if I'm not. It was a close call and I have maintain my unruffled form without feeling even an ounce of pain in my chest, talked to them like they were the children.

But it was mentally exhausting and scary when my emotions suddenly slammed back.

I needed to refill my quota of confidence.

I need some space.

I felt my knees buckled. I almost fall forward if not for the hands at my shoulders stopping my descend. My visions blurred but I still had the propriety to looked at my savior.

A familiar savior, with black hair and violet eyes.

The room stilled in silence, as I saw that eyes glow in recognition.

Mine must have mirrored his expression, until he sighs in relief, joy fill his eyes.

"You're alive…"

My heart skipped a beat.

"W- what?" I stuttered, feeling a huge dread form in my heart as Sho Aihara analyzed my body with barely restricted joy.

"Don't you remember?" A pause. " Of course you won't. You're still a child back then… I was the one who saved you from the car crashed seven years ago."

 _It hurts._

 _It hurts!_

 _IT HURTS!_

" _Daddy~!" I cried, coughing and hacking blood in my mouth. I pushed the board out of my lap but it's stuck and it hurts and I can't get out and it burns and IcantbreathedaddyisnotmovingwhereamIwhathappened!_

 _I wailed as best as I could when there's salty water in my nose and mouth, struggling to free my aching body because there are holes. There's something in the holes! It hurts, I can't- I can't move and I'm crying because there's red pooling and daddy is color red and he has a bag and his head is-_

 _Where's daddy's head?_

I breathe deeply, clutching my heart as I remembered a morbid vision of Yozorako's childhood nightmare.

But it was in the past.

I am not afraid.

I am more concern of my heart right now.

"I… see…. Excuse me." I flinched at my rudeness but I must. I bowed quickly after I step away from him into Shey's awaiting arms. I gave him a short nod before I motioned for us to leave, trying not to look into his eyes.

I bit my lip as we passed him, making it bleed and taste the familiar tang of blood in my tongue.

I need to get away from him.

I **need** an ungodly needed space.

* * *

"Yonee- chaaan~!"

I knew it.

"Matsuri- chan…." I weakly mumbled, huffing as a body slammed into Sam who stopped Matsuri from reaching me, leaning into a bench with a pale face.

"Who're you!? That's my Nee-chan~!" she yelled, trying to pull the hood in Sam's hands, unhappy and disturbed.

"I do not believe you're related to her in any way." He shut back, voice colder than he used on me. I saw Matsuri stopped struggling, but she was with anger in her eyes.

"I'm Yonee- chan and Yuzu- chan's youngest sister! We play all weekends!"

"Hmm…" Sam hummed, but it was in amusement, something that Matsuri didn't catch as she fights for a second time, struggling to break free.

"Yonee- chaaaan~!" her voice might be angelic but it further amplify my agony. It reminds me of my voice in the _accident_ and the wails of my anguish in seeing-

"Sam…" I hushed, wilted as I can be, stopping my train of thoughts. "I knew her. Let her go." I placed my face on my crooked arm, trying to stop the dancing tremors in my head and the shudders slithering in my skin.

I felt someone sat next to me and was ready to touched my other hand. She stopped. Just shy of it before she holds into my sleeve, just like those times when I'm at home.

"Nee- chan?" she sounds worried, lowering her voice as she can possibly can and I couldn't help but place my shaky hand on her lap, trying to assure her in my less stellar moments such as this.

"Don't worry…" even whispering takes as much energy as I can get. I closed my eyes, trying not to think deeply. "… Just the same goosebumps on my skin. The tingles are real."

"Did someone touched you? Did they have cooties?"

"Yes… they have. Why…. You here?"

"Kaa- chan and Tou- chan's in meeting right now, they said to wait for them in the car and then I saw you so ta- da~." She whispered, but her voice is with cheer. Just like Yuzu.

Geez. I gulped.

Yuzu's going to kill me.

I might laughed but I'm in serious upheaval of panic attack right now, so I just tap her lap weakly, trusting she knows my actions through many years we've been close. She is quite perceptive I can tell.

"Where's Yuzu- chan?" she asked, but I dare not reply. My tongue was made of lead. Heavy and unresponsive.

My chest is heavy. The air too clean, too open.

My legs are numb, my chair too hard.

The background voice irritates me as if it was next to my ears. I hate feeling the touch of clothes in my body. It's itchy, too close to skin.

I hear a voice answered her, but it was muddled as my senses blurred and weakens me even more. With a great will I pushed my body to lean into Matsuri, trying to find her familiar scent and regulate my breath.

* * *

"Mama…" I croaked, pulling out the mask in my mouth as I blinked at my mother scooted next to me. I was using her arm as a pillow, making my head absolutely blissful into the satisfying comfort only a mother could have.

I have felt her move her head to look at me, and I slowly meet her gaze half- way.

She's smiling at me, tinge with sadness and patience as I roamed about the room with my eyes.

"How did I get home?" I asked weakly, pawing at her comfortable sleeping gown- kneading it too keep me calm.

"Sam drove you home when you fell asleep in Matsuri, darling. You gave them quite a scare."

"I didn't mean to…" I pouted, frowning. "It's not like I can control my urges to panic."

"Then maybe next time bring some inhaler and medicine to help you, hm?"

"Did Yuzu- nee knows about me feinting?"

"She's asleep when you arrived.. maybe four or five hours ago? Don't worry, I won't tell her if you don't want to."

"My concern is Matsuri."

"Ah. That, I can't help baby."

"And the meeting?" I asked the most important question, looking at her eyes to see a semblance of doubt and lies. But I saw none, merely patience of a mother to a child.

"Don't think too much of it, honey…" she rubbed my arms and I scoot at her all the more. "Shey told everyone you have personal issues you need to concern with. Your uncle had handled it too well. He said you're plan had succeed and was awaiting for you to be well to assign another schedule to date."

I inhaled deeply, burying my nose on her chest, indulging in the comfort of the soft mounds I remembered when I was just a babe. She lets me be, cradling my head as she plays with my hair. "I'm leading them… My gosh, mama... can you believe I'm leading them?"

She nods at me, whispering her sadness in my hair. "I recalled your father warning me of his family. They said they are dangerous, almost to a point were all of them will kill. But your father chose us over his own kin. Never will he realized you'll going to unite them, Yozora- chan. I know you'll be a great leader, my baby. But remember to always take care of yourself first, alright? I know how smart you are, but feel free to ask for help to those you trust."

"But what if I need to go away?" I told her, trying to give her the possibility that might happen to me.

Yet she didn't pause. She didn't sounds mad either. Better yet, she almost felt prideful, when she answered me with a lit in her tone.

"Then I will let you. If that is what your heart decides then carry on. I won't stop you. I love you too much for that."

I felt my heart ache.

However…

"I love you, mommy. I promise I will tell you if I can't anymore."

"I love you too, sweetie."

… It is a good ache.


End file.
